Falling Stars
by superheroninjadinosaurs
Summary: Axel made a promise to Roxas when they were kids, but it looks like he'll never keep it. Not when he's had so many chances. Not when he's leaving.
1. July

So this is kind of written a bit strangely. The first half of every chapter will sort of be a flashback and the second part will be the present.

Disclaimer: only the plot is mine V.V

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_The twilight sun set everything aglow. The tall fields of grass wisped in the wind, and the last bits of summer were being washed away, but it didn't stop the scene from being beautiful. If anything it added to the magic of late summer days. I can still recall how the sound of sweet soft melodic children's laughter filled the air. I remember the sea of rainbow balloons being let go into the air as the children were set into another round of innocent giggles. I remember them counting and laughing, and giggling more at the numbers that were missed. I remember how some still had their front teeth missing, or buttons to their overalls gone, and how their hair was so messy, but no one made fun of them for it. I can still recall how they all ran and hid in the same tree, helping each other shimmy up the bark of the old thing. _

_ I can picture their faces when a little brunette boy found them hidden in the leaves, screaming it wasn't fair that he couldn't reach the next person to "be it." they all giggled, before one leapt down from the thin branch saying he would be it, because it was for the other boy. I remember thinking how strange it was for a child to be so blonde; their hair was silver in the setting sun. I can still feel the breeze prickling my skin when I think about it, and even the way it smelt; cool and sweet, and somewhere in the back salty from sweat in the air, I remember how simple those kids had it, and how carefree they looked when their gem colored eyes settled on one another, but mostly I remember being one of those kids. _

_ We ran for hours and hours, laughter mixing with our ragged breaths as our short chubby bodies carried us through the fields that were nearly as tall as us. It was easy to do things like that when we were young. Just the ten of us; Sora, Riku, Namin__é__, kairi, Ven, Cloud, Terra, Zack, Axel, and I. we swarmed through the tall grass forest and screeched when a game of hide-and-seek turned into Riku being a monster who chased us, and that eventually turned into the ten-year-olds, Terra, Zack, and Cloud pushing us, Sora, Riku, Axel, Ven, and I, the Five-year-olds, on a tire swing that faded long ago in the summer sun, while the only two girls made daisy-chains with sloppy three-year-old fingers. After the sun had gone down, and the diamond dusted sky came into view we all splayed across the dirt and soft grass staring up in amazement at it. I can still remember how Cloud and Zack were close enough to touch, but were too afraid to, and Ven watched Terra instead of the stars. I could feel the grass underneath me, and the stars above me, and Axel's warm heat next to me. His small hand wrapped mine in his in the innocent way children do as we all lay in a circle on the grass. My breath caught in my throat that night and I can't recall if it was because he was holding my hand, or the showering stars that started to fall around us. They shot one by one streaking the sky with their beauty. No one spoke, and I felt like we all stopped breathing too. _

_ "Roxas," Axel's small voice called to me in the silence and for a long moment only the crickets answered him. "You're not a girl…" he stated the obvious, but at the time it was a revelation amongst the whole group, "and you're taller than me." And at the time it was true, I had a good three inches over him, even with his unruly bright red hair, even if his mother forced him to get it cut every month, "but someday… when the stars are falling again…" by now everyone was listening, "I'm going to make you my wife! I promise." he proclaimed happily squeezing my hand, but no one else felt that. _

* * *

It all made perfect sense back then, and when or how we all grew up, I don't know either. I don't know when Axel's sweet innocent voice suddenly became so much deeper and sensual, or when he was allowed to grow his short hair out, or when his beautiful green eyes formed into the most magnificent creations I had ever seen, or even when his child's toothless grin turned into a grin the Cheshire cat would envy. I don't know when he finally learned to hold my hand with our fingers laced, or when his small skinny body grew to a towering height over mine, or when he developed those muscles, or even when he learned to kiss. And I certainly don't know when Axel became a sexual thing to me, but now I know why he is.

His broad shoulders and strong chest were close to my own smaller, but still toned one. His soft lips caressed mine perfectly as his long spindly fingers danced over my body. I was groaning into the kiss as he slowly rocked his hips against mine through our thin pajama pants. My back was pressed against the small love seat in our cramped apartment with this strong beast on top of me straddling my waist. My own fingers dug into his scalp and yanked on the still red spikes when his lips found that one spot on my neck, with his hands forced up my shirt running over my nipples. "Axel…" I breathed his name as I arched off the couch, wanting more from my lover. He sat up and quickly removed both of our shirts before he kissed me again. This one was rough and sloppy as our tongues danced together, fighting almost, as he kept grinding our hips together.

"Fuck, Rox. C-can I?" his voice was hoarse as he looked down at me with those stunning green eyes, with want melding into them. I gave a short nod before pulling his face back down to mine and kissing him while he worked on pulling down our pajama pants and boxers. We broke apart again as he yanked my flannel pants off placing himself between my legs. I hissed at the surprisingly cold air that swarmed around my pulsing erection. Axel leaned down my body and kissed the protruding hip bones and then my inner thighs nipping here and there. The sensation got me every time and I breathed out his name again. I could feel him grin like the Cheshire cat against my tanned skin, before kissing the tip of my erection. I bucked my hips up but he just forced them down with one powerful hand as he kept teasing me. His pink tongue darting out of his mouth and lapped at the head forcing more moans out of me, and before a moment one slick finger was buried deep within me and my eyes rolled into the back of my head. "Rox, you taste so good." He purred as he took my head into his mouth and sucked before engulfing the whole thing.

"OH GODS AXEL!" I bit out grabbing onto the couch's fabric desperately trying to keep my cool. No matter how many times he had done the exact same thing to me, it still was just as amazing. His mouth was wet and hot around my aching shaft and oh gods I could feel his teeth grazing across the damn thing, it made me scream. Axel hummed in the back of his throat and the vibrations had me clutching on to the fabric harder. "Oh fuck Axel!" I was so focused on the blowjob I hadn't noticed his _three _fingers working and stretching me open until they grazed passed the bundle of nerves he had mapped out. I inhaled sharply again when his nails grazed it before he withdrew them from my body and let go of my erection with a loud pop.

"You ready Rox?" he asked, but he already knew the answer so I didn't bother to make a move to respond to him; I just lay there panting hanging onto the cheep couch for dear life, with my legs spread wide open and erection twitching freely in the now damp air. He leaned down and kissed me, letting my tongue explore his mouth, tasting myself. I never really liked the taste, but when it was in Axel's mouth and the thought of what he just did to me coursed through my mind, I shivered. He pulled away to hold his breath as he position himself at my entrance and push himself all the way in.

"A-AXEL!" I mewled his name as he settled inside of me, resisting the urge to just slam into me; his face gave it all away. I could feel him throbbing inside of me as I stared up at his face. The dull ache mixed with the pleasure. It was beautiful, Axel buried deep inside of me, towering over me with sweat staining his magnificent body, and the site coaxed another moan out of my lips. This persuaded him to move, drawing his hips out painfully slowly before pushing back in half way. "No k-keep going…" I bit my bottom lip trying to hold back another moan.

"Don't do that, babe." He leaned down and placed another rough kiss to my lips swallowing the noise I made when he shoved himself the rest of the way in. He began a slow steady rhythm kissing me and pulling away when I let out growls of pleasure rolling my hips against his. "Now tell me what you want…" he whispered sultrily into my ear when we broke the kiss.

"F-faster." I could hear myself say, twisting my fingers in Axel's long hair, not daring to open my eyes just yet. He pounded into me faster letting out groans of his own as my hips still rose with every thrust; I could never get enough of him. Suddenly his hot wet tongue was lazily circling around my nipple, before he bit down harshly and he kept thrusting, hitting my prostate dead on every time, "OH AXEL!" I screamed at all the feelings swelling up inside of me; the smoldering heat coiled in the pit of my stomach and by the way Axel was murmuring my name he was feeling the same. My hands slowly made their way from tangling in his hair to clawing down his back. He thrusted harder and faster until our hips were franticly coming together and separating. My throat ached from screaming and moaning curses and Axel's name as he sucked and bit on my pulse. So close. "A-A-Axel! OH AXEL M-MORE! MAKE ME CUM!" I dug my nails deeper in his back. I could feel myself tighten around Axel's still throbbing member as it impaled me over and over again. My eyes shot open as I felt his long spindly fingers close around my own weeping Erection. Axel ran his thumb over the tip spreading my pre-cum around before pumping it roughly in time with his frantic thrusts.

"Look at me…" it was a soft husky voice as his eyes made contact with mine. I screamed out feeling everything inside of me uncoil. Stars danced in front of my eyes as Axel groaned my name releasing his hot seed inside of me riding out both of our orgasms, never breaking eye contact.

"Axel… that was fantastic." I whispered when I finally regained my sensations and relax my arms around Axel's back as he slumped against me, the both of us still panting heavily. He propped himself up on one elbow as he toyed with my hair.

"You always are." He kissed me lazily before pulling out and his cum spilling out onto the fabric that covered the couch. "Always have been." He smiled trying to get up, but I pulled him back down and held him to me. He chuckled darkly, "what? You don't wanna move?" I just shook my head and yawned, not bothered in the least bit by the feeling of the aftermath all over me.

I looked over him out to the window and the dark night sky. The stars speckled the dark canvas before I noticed it, the small streak crossed the sky, then another and another… the stars were falling again. I smiled sadly at Axel, like I always have when I see a shooting star, recalling his five-year-old-self and comparing him to his twenty-one-year-old-self now. I kissed his cheek mumbling, "someday." He never understood and tonight was no different. He had long forgotten his promise, because Axel is definitely not that little boy anymore.

* * *

Hmmm…

C: tah tah for now!


	2. August

_warning: SEX_

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_"Come on Roxas." His bright smile lit up his entire face as he pulled me by my wrist. His small hands and feet were still awkward in their movements. "I wanna see the monkeys Roxas!" he squealed and I couldn't help but smile. _

_ "Slow down Ax!" I laughed as I tried to keep up with him, which at the time wasn't too hard because I was still taller. "Monkey don't leave!" my words weren't all formed properly, but neither were anybody else's._

_ "But what if it's their nap-time?" his small voice sounded scared as we unsteadily ran up the cobble stone path, still barely being able to keep up with the rest of our small class and giant teacher's legs. She was a tall slim woman that was holding Sora and Riku around their small wrists. _

_ "Don't be silly Axel! Monkeys don't sleep." The class had stopped in front of the glass cage with all their pudgy hands pressed up against it in pure amazement. A few girls giggled at a boy who had his cheeks puffed out, eyes crossed and pulling on his ears. "Axel he look like monkeys!" I pointed at him and Axel looked up and giggled happily like the girls, he smiled brightly even though he was missing quite a few teeth, but it fit him. He dragged me right up to the glass of their cage, pushing past students who pouted and ran to tell on us. _

_ "Look! Roxas look!" he giggled harder pointing to the monkey in the back who swung on a tire swing squealing happily. "He happy!" his big apple green eyes smiled bigger than his mouth as he went back to pressing his face to the glass._

_ "You are happy with him!" I pointed out, still holding his hand._

_ "Duh! Roxas! Axel loves monkeys!" Sora was behind me still holding onto the teacher's hand, which was still holding an angel blonde Riku in her other. She looked down at him telling him 'duh,' wasn't a very nice word to use, but Sora would ignore her like he had with everyone else. _

_ "He loves them!" I repeated like a bird as I looked at Riku who wasn't happy at all, "Does you not love monkeys Riku?" I tried to walk over to him, but Axel held me to his side as he spoke to the huge furry creatures on the other side of the glass. _

_ "Riku got in truuuuble!" Sora rocked back on his heals as he drew his words out, "Riku says girls got coooooties!" Sora scrunched up his face and so did I, even though I never thought they had them, "'cept Nami and Kai, 'cause they just baaaabies!" he was really excited when he spoke, and I never knew why. _

_ "That's not very nice of you Sora. You shouldn't spread rumors like that. Say sorry to Riku." The teacher reprimanded him, but Sora just looked confused._

_ "What is Roomsers? Does they hurt? I hurted Riku! Riku I Sorry!" Sora's big blue eyes held tears in them as he tottered to the other side of the teacher to crush Riku in a hug, and the teacher sighed heavily saying something about, 'First graders.' But her cheery smile quickly returned as she tugged the boys away from the small crowd of students and us as Riku brushed the white-blonde hair out of his face, and Sora waved excitedly._

_ "Hey Axel, what is Rumors?" I leaned my head against him for a short moment before girls giggled at me so I stood up strait but didn't move my hand. All the boys I was friends with held hands with each other, so that definitely wasn't the reason why they were laughing at me, but maybe the leaning thing was._

_ "Mommy says peoples at her works says them a lot." He spoke even though he was still watching the Monkeys being monkeys. "She says they's mean lies peoples says 'cause they don't like nobody." I gasped, lying was bad. "Mommy says not to be friends with meanies like dat." I frowned. Sora was telling the truth, because Sora never lied, especially not about Riku. _

_ "you're not friends with Sora now?" I hoped he wouldn't say he didn't want to be friends with Sora, because he was my next best-friend._

_ "I am. Sora don't lie." He smiled up at me, hugged me around the waist and I hugged him back just as tightly, not caring when the other teachers started cooing over us, "you're so silly sometimes Roxas." _

_ "So is you Axel." I stuck my tongue out at him when he pulled away, and it was my turn to tug him along the path to keep up with the class. _

_ "We can be silly together, Roxas!" he squealed happily skipping up ahead of me with my hand still in his. I repeated the word 'together' in my mouth liking the way it felt even though it probably sounded more like 'togeder.' "Forever!" he really was the happiest child I ever knew, and that was saying a lot, because I was still friends with Sora. His bright red hair shimmered in the midday sun when he tried to turn around and still walk. "Roxas we—" his sentence was cut off with a large clack to the ground as his bottom crashed into the cobble stone path followed by his head, he pulled me down with him and I too found myself on the ground with a pounding head ache. Before I could stop them, big fat tears were flowing down my face as I sobbed holding the front of my head in pain. _

_ "Oh my goodness what happened!" the same woman who was holding Sora and Riku by the hands, let them both go to rush over to us. "Are you okay, Roxas, Axel?" she knelt on the ground beside us as another teacher ran to the blob on the ground that was us. The woman was holding me looking all over my face and head because even though I wasn't crying very much anymore, I was still holding my head. "I think they just fell."_

_ "OH MY GOSH! AXEL, SWEETIE, ARE YOU OKAY!" I spun around to look at another woman on her knees in front of Axel._

_ "My head hurts." Axel smiled sheepishly as he stood up, wobbling as he stood. This caused the teachers to panic, or maybe it was the small amount of blood sliding down the side of his cheek from his ear. He turned around to look at me in all my patheticness. _

_ "Axel we need to take you to a hospital, okay?" they were both exchanging looks that I didn't understand, and had never seen before, and I started bawling again._

_ "Roxas is hurt more! He's crying!" Axel protested still a little unsteady on his feet, and the women looked ready to catch him if he were to fall. _

_ "No, you silly. My owie don't hurt. I just don't want you to leave!" I held my eyes closed tight rubbing away tears as they fell harder. I could feel the sticky wetness all over my face and I felt gross, but I kept crying. "You got an owie and now they's making you leave! Don't go!" I pleaded pathetically, as he hugged me again._

_ "It just a hospital, it's okay Roxas… I'll be good, then no more owies." The teachers were pulling him away, and I sniffled._

_ "You gotta come back, okay?" I looked down at him, to see him smiling back up at me._

_ "No worries, I Always come back, Roxas."_

* * *

The sunrise filtered through the blinds, and I rolled over on my side, barely aware that I had awoken in our bedroom and not on the couch in the living room with an aching back. I was truly thankful for this. The world around me was a bit hazy, and for the most part still dark, but I could make out a blur of red hair. "You should come back to bed." I whispered.

My eyes focused on his form then, and in the early morning lights I could see his usually spiky red main was wet and sticking to his face as he was bent over in the computer chair. He was busying himself with zipping up his black steel-toed boots and tucking his equally black pants into them, "you know I have to leave soon, Baby." He looked up at me for a second, our eyes catching. I frowned when I remembered the reason for our love making on the couch.

"Just stay." I said sadly, watching as he stood. His form towered over me as I stayed on my side curled under the violet sheets. His chest rose and fell with a long sigh. He was only wearing his pants and boots, so his thin but built upper body glistened with the droplets that clung to his body from just getting out of the shower and the little bit of sun. His wet hair tangled around his face and settled sexily around his shoulders.

"You know I wish it was that simple." He looked back to the ground and picked up a black belt that sat on top of his luggage and started looping it through his belt loops, "but this is something I have to do." Axel looked almost as sad as I was by that point. He took the short two steps over to the bed were I was lying and sat on the edge. "Now, can I have a kiss before I go?" he smiled a melancholy smile, as I brushed my disheveled blonde hair out of my face. I shifted on the bed sitting up and then we were both aware that I was very naked. I tried to cover myself up, but his thin fingers closed around my hand stopping me from covering even my groin. Despite many years with him and countless times of seeing each other naked, my cheeks reddened at the gesture. He cupped my cheeks in his hand and placed a soft good morning kiss to my lips.

"Wait." I called as my eyes fluttered open to see him about to get up. "Kiss me again, Axel. You're not coming home for a long time." He chuckled and leaned in to kiss me again. His lips pressed against mine and I wrapped my arms around his still damp body trying to imprint the feel, the smell, the sound, and the taste that was Axel. I inhaled deeply when his hands left my face and gently rubbed my hip bones. We broke apart, but I wouldn't let him go, "one more?"

"Rox…" he rolled his eyes before playfully pecking my lips. He left a few feather light kisses to my face and eventually my neck, and back up to kiss along my jaw-line. I giggled when his hair tickled my face before I tightened my grip on him and brought my naked body to his clad in only tight pants and boots. "You're making this really hard to go, Rox."

"I know, Ax, that's the point." I pulled him in for a kiss biting his lower lip and smiling when his tongue darted out to play with mine. I hummed happily pulling him back onto the bed with me. I marveled at the way he felt pressed against my bare skin as we kept kissing. His hands that slowly caressed my hips were moving up my sides lovingly, when I tilted my head gaining a different angle from the kiss. My own fingers twisted in his damp hair, because that was my favorite place to keep them. I slowly started to roll my hips into his loving how his body went completely rigid at the movement.

"We can't Rox," he let out a low growl in the back of his throat, his protest almost completely dying out.

"Just one…" I whispered sultrily against the shell of his ear, "more time." I rolled my hips grinning when he did the same back, "please." I nipped at the flesh just behind his ear earning another low growl. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he flipped us over so I was straddling him then. I giggled when I opened my eyes to see his beneath me looking at me with hunger melding in his green cat eyes. My lips latched onto the wet skin of his neck as I nipped, licked and sucked. I loved how his dulled nails and large hands dug into my sides and back down to my hips. I kept rolling my hips and grinned into his skin when I felt a bulge forming in his pants. "You know you want it." I whispered unbuckling and unzipping his pants.

"Rox, this… I always want you, but—nnh!" I cut him off with my hand closing around his still hardening member and pumped slowly. I bent down and licked the tip feeling his body tremble under mine. His hand gripped harder on my hips and I was sure they would leave nice little bruises. In a matter of moments he was completely hard and I was back to kissing him. His fingers left my hips again and slowly crept towards my backside in small circles.

"Axel…" I breathed his name with our lips brushing when I spoke. He hummed a response, his fingers working in and out of my entrance lazily as I ground our erections together. My breath hitched when his fingers left me and he was kissing me again. His tongue sought mine out hungrily sending a shiver up my spine with his new rough treatment.

"Come on, Rox." He licked the edge of my ear, his eyes looking into mine when he backed away. They were darker and glazed over with a look I knew all too well. I kissed his temple before getting on my knees and taking a hold of his erection in my hand feeling it pulse in my grip as I positioned it at my entrance. "Shit Roxas." He hissed as I slowly seated myself on him, holding my breath at the slight pain that curled up my spine and nuzzled up to the blissful sensation that was Axel completely filling me up. "You're so beautiful." His hands rubbed small circles in the small of my back as I took a deep breath steadying myself by placing my hands on his bare chest as it rose and fell. I shakily lifted myself and dropped back down. I rose again and slammed myself down onto my lover a few more times slipping my eyes closed at the amazing feeling of his pulsing member sliding in and out of me. I was letting out little whimpers and whines of Axel's name as I listened to his harsh breathing, and jingling of his belt that was still looped around his waist.

I bent forward still lifting my hips and letting them fall, "you should move, Axel." It was a ragged breath that forced a groan to escape his lips in the form of my name. I captured his lips in another sultry kiss just as he snapped his hips up to meet my own crashing down onto his. "AAAH— AXEL!" I could feel the scream tare from my throat but I didn't care, he just needed to do that again. He thrusted his hips up meeting every one of my own and I propped myself back up keeping steady with my arms. His grip tightened around my hips as he pulled me down harder and harder every time.

"So fucking gorgeous right now, Roxas—ah." Axel moaned as I threw my head back arching my back when he hit that spot inside of me that sent waves of pleasure crashing through my body. He let go of one of my hips and started to pump my neglected erection.

"AH— AXEL! OH FUCK! AXEL I LOVE YOU!" I screamed feeling my body give into a new wave of pleasure.

"I love you too, Roxas." He groaned, thrusting harder and faster into me knowing by my panting and whimpers that I was close. With one last scream I came hard and fast onto his chest and hand, stars dancing around my head in the bliss. I tightened around Axel's member as he thrusted into me even when I collapsed onto his chest. He bit onto my shoulder muffling a moan when he finally came. We lay panting for a few more moments, Axel not bothering to pull out, and just basking in the afterglow of our orgasms. "Hey… Rox, are you okay?" Axel wrapped an arm protectively around me as he kissed the top of my messy blonde hair. He lifted my chin up to look into my eyes, "oh, Roxas, I'm sorry I didn't mean to bite you so hard you'd cry." He kissed away the small tears that silently slid down my cheeks.

"I— it doesn't hurt." I murmured not looking away from his intense gaze, "I just… I really don't want you to leave." I felt more tears heat up my face as they fell.

"You really are making this hard to go." He kissed my lips once more, and rolled so we were both on our sides slipping out of me. "Don't cry Roxas, it's part of the job…" this didn't help one bit and I felt my heart crack a little bit more.

"But I'll miss you, Ax. A year is a really long time to be gone. What am I gunna do until next August?" I sniffled as he kept leaving kisses on my face. I yawned, even though I didn't feel sleepy at all. Axel sat up in the bed and eventually got up.

"Do you always cry when I leave?" he kissed me again, before wiping his lower body clean with the damp towel hung over the computer chair.

"No… okay not until after you leave." I watched him tuck himself back into his boxers and pants before buttoning them up and doing up his belt. "But you've never been gone for a whole year. Stupid missions. What do they have you do anyway?" Axel wiped off his chest and lent down to kiss me again.

"You definitely know I can't tell you that part," as he pulled an equally black spandex short sleeve shirt over his torso, and my chest caved in a little as every article of clothing he put on made it painfully obvious he was really going on a mission that lasted a whole entire year. Another set of tears rolled down my cheeks and I tried to hold them back, but I couldn't. Instead I pulled the sheets up close to my chest and curled into a ball on my half of the queen sized bed. "Come on, Roxas, please don't cry. It's breaking my heart." The sun was golden by now bathing his figure in a warm glow as he approached me again as he snuggled up behind me closing his arms around me, "it's just a year, and before you know it… I'll be back right here, doing the exact same thing, and you'll be so excited you won't be able to sleep." He kissed my temple as he played with my tufts of blonde hair.

"Don't go…" I murmured again feeling miserable. It wasn't the first time he left to some other part of the world, but the longest he was ever gone was three months, and that summer had been miserable. "Please don't go." Growing up my entire life with him, I guess I kind of forgot what it was like when he was gone. "I love you… so don't go." I let out little tears that he wiped away with his now glove covered hand.

"I have to Rox," I could hear his voice break and I turned over to see silent tears stream down his cheeks beautifully. They disappeared into his deep purple tattoos, and he didn't shed anymore, "we have bills to pay, and your college to pay for." He stood up again taking me with him.

"AXEL!" I shrieked. He was holding me bridal style, still in a mess of soiled sheets, and twirling me to get me to stop crying, "I love you. You gotta come back, okay?" I held his face in my hands kissing him lazily for what would be the last time in a year.

He sat me back down on the bed before he broke the kiss and pulled the thicker comforter up to my neck. "I love you too, Roxas." He closed the blinds leaving us in the dark of the early morning. He grinned down at me picking up his keys and coat along with his luggage that was just a small wheeled suitcase and a backpack; everything else had been loaded in the car the night before, "And no worries, I Always come back, Roxas."


	3. September

Disclaimer: only the plot is mine

Warning: very sad chapter and less Axel because you know he's gone!

* * *

"Roxas, you're a big boy now aren't you?" my mother had said to me. My father and she were seated perfectly on our white couch together. Her skirt came to just above her knees and her frail hands clasped over them slightly shaking. _Mommy's serious face. _

"Yes mommy!" I stated proudly not really understanding what was going on. My father cleared his throat and shifted in his seat, "I'm seven now! And a second grader!"

"That's good, sweetie, because mommy and daddy need to have a very serious talk with you okay?" she smiled brushing a blonde lock of hair out of her face, even though she looked like she wanted not to smile at all. "Can you sit down for mommy and daddy?" I felt a little bud of terror bloom inside of me as I sat down in the large recliner opposite them.

"Mommy is something wrong?" I could feel myself about to cry at the thought of something horrible happening to my mom or dad.

"Oh, Roxas, don't worry. It's going to be okay, understand?" I definitely didn't like the way the conversation was going. I just nodded and swallowed down the tears that were ready to spill from my eyes.

"There's been an accident, Roxas." My father's voice broke through the tension and I felt my heart drop.

"What kind of accident. Do they have lots of owies?" I still hadn't stopped using that word yet.

"Yes, Roxas, they have lots of owies." My mother stated quietly, and my father hugged her tightly to his side.

My seven-year-old mind reeled. Every person I knew, every person my parents knew. Who could it have been? Panic flooded as I looked up into my mother's eyes and I noticed she had tears in her eyes too; big wet ones just like mine.

"Where's Ven! And Cloud!" my first thought was right for my brothers, because they weren't in a place I could see.

"Oh, gosh, Roxas, no, your brothers are fine." My mother rushed knowing how sick I was just at the thought of an accident happening to them. "You know your cousins Zack and Terra right?" she knew I knew, but something my mother did was ask a lot of questions in the way mothers did to make sure I understood. Zack and Terra weren't really our cousins, but their mother was so close to my own we always just considered them family.

"Yes, mommy. Are they okay?" I asked sadly, they were my other favorite people to be with. They always made cloud, Ven and I laugh. And I remember terra really liking Ven and I, he always showed us his swords when we were kids.

"Yes they are fine too… it's—" my mother couldn't finish her statement as she let out slow tears. I hopped down from the large cushions and made the short way over to her and climbed in her lap. I wrapped my thin small arms around her body and hugged my mommy. It was all I could think of to do. When I was sad my mommy hugged me, so I hugged her when she was sad.

"Mommy Don't cry. Don't be sad." I pressed my face into her soft hair. It always smelt good, never like anything in particular, just good. I sniffled up my own tears to convince her more that she shouldn't be sad. She hugged back and I felt my father's hand on my shoulder, I looked up and he nodded at me.

"Roxas, my boy, your aunt, and uncle, Zack and Terra's mother and father, were in a car accident. She passed away, and your uncle is in a coma." His voice faltered but I blocked out if he too was crying or not. One parent was too much, and daddies definitely didn't cry. The sound of my father's voice made my mother let out another sad sound.

"What does that mean, Daddy?" I questioned still holding onto my mother.

"It means your aunt is in heaven, and your uncle is going to be asleep for a very long time," he stated as simply as he could. Did other parents tell their children this when someone died?

"oh." I felt more tears slide down my face, "where are Zack and Terra going to live with a mommy in heaven and a daddy always asleep?" my innocents just about killed my mother.

"Sweetie," she sighed through her tears; she really did love her 'sister.' "That's what we wanted to talk to you about. They are going to live with us… until their father wakes up, okay?" my mother looked into my eyes, cupping my cheek lightly, and the gravity of it all crashed down on me. My favorite Aunt was in heaven, as in I could never see her again, and never go to her house, and never hug her, and never eat the candy she gave us, and never thank her for letting Terra and Zack stay the night, and never ever hear the happy sounds she made with my mommy that made me happy too. Their Father was so asleep nothing could wake him up, and my mommy was crying. I cried harder, and we all just sat there holding each other and crying.

"Roxas… I think you should go run up stairs and put your shoes on." my father stated clearing his throat, "so we can meet your brothers in the hospital, okay?" He inhaled deeply, something he did when he was angry… or sad.

"Why are they there?" I looked scared again.

"Sweetie, they went while you were playing with Axel at his house. They already know…" my mother dabbed the corners of her eyes with her sleeve before picking me up and placing me on the floor, "now hurry along."

I laced up my shoes quickly and ran down stairs and jumped in the car. I wanted to see everybody that instant, I was the only one who didn't know and everyone was so sad. I had to be sad with them. _For them._ The car ride was silent as my father drove with my mother leaning against the glass window dejectedly. I could feel every bump and groove in the road as it passed beneath us. Tears still came down my flushed cheeks, but I kept quiet. I was even quiet when my mom unbuckled my seat belt and helped me out of the car and held my hand the whole time we walked to the hospital. I didn't even speak a word in the cramped elevator to the third floor, but when I saw Terra, Zack, Cloud, Ven, Sora, and Riku, I couldn't hold it in any more. Their faces looked so broken as they stood by the glass room, staring into it. Sora's mom held his sleeping little sister, Namine, and Riku's parents watched the other children, consoling them, telling them not to worry, because anytime the doctors would come out and say he had awoken.

"Terra! Zack!" I screamed letting go of my mother's hand and flew over to them. They greeted me with more hugs, and telling _me _it was going to be okay. They lost their mother, and they thought I needed to be okay? The thought made me very sad and I pulled away from the hug, taking my place next to Sora and Riku who held each other's hands. I looked around and saw Ven being smothered by Terra who finally let a few tears slide down his face. Zack just stared blankly at the buzzing of nurses working on the other side of the glass, holding Cloud's hand. His face was blank too, Cloud spent most of his time at the Fair's they were his second parents. I briefly wondered were Axel and Kairi were, but that was quickly forgotten when a loud long beep sounded through the room and even more nurses crammed into the glass box. After a second the Curtains were closed, and no one could see the Fair brother's father.

The children started crying loudly, and once again they soothed us the only way they knew how to… maybe it was for them too, "it's okay, guys, he'll wake up soon."

The fair twins' jaws tightened with words I could tell they were just dying to say.

* * *

"They were wrong." Terra started, bending down and placing a bouquet of lilies on the ground.

"You never woke-up, dad," Zack finished, also placing a bouquet on the ground next to the other one. September was always the hardest month for us all. The wind blew across the ground and tugged off some of some of the petals. Zack's blue eyes were cold when he stared down at his parent's graves. His fingers tangled with Cloud's who also just stared. The Damp smell of rain and soggy earth washed over us all, but the only sounds that could be heard were Ventus' sniffles. I shifted in my spot, finding it hard to be standing alone even with the gang surrounding me, and the willow trying to wrap us all in a hug. I still felt alone. Axel was gone. Axel wasn't here to hold my hand like, Ven or Sora, or Riku, or Zack, or Terra, or even Namine and Kairi. I clutched and unclutched my hands, trying to keep them warm. For September it was chillier than normal. Maybe it was just because I was too stupid to wear gloves, and no one was around to hold me hand

"Hey, Roxas, you okay?" Sora nudged my side, breaking the silence that came over us all.

"Hmm… yeah I'm okay… Just you know." I shrugged, moving the thick leather jacket up and down with my shoulders. It was far too big for me, even if Axel out grew it before high school ended. It was worn out and old, but it smelled like him; Irish spring, and smoke, because high school Axel smoked.

"Yeah, it must be hard without Axel." Sora stated softly. His blue eyes looked tired, but so did everyone else's. September made people sleepy.

"That's right, isn't it? The first year Axel isn't here to visit?" My own twin stated softly, I stared up into the mirroring eyes.

"Yeah…." Was all I could manage to say, "I miss him."

"It's okay Rox." Zack murmured and Cloud squeezed his hand. Why after all these years were _they_ still telling _me_ I needed to be okay?

"It's the anniversary of your parent's death, don't worry about me. Today's for mourning them, not Axel's absence." I exchanged glances between the fair twins as I said this, "You don't have to be tough all the time." I hadn't seen either of them cry since back then. Not a single tear.

"Rox." Ventus warned.

"I'm fine without Axel… you guys don't need to worry." I lied and smiled, "Today is really all about them." I gestured to the ground, and by now my eyes were puffy, and voice was shaking. Fucking September 16th. Fucking high school Axel smelling jacket. Fucking organization that kept him away. Fucking never smiling without Zack Cloud. fucking everything and everyone. I cursed everything trying to hold back tears. Why on earth did I cry so much?

"It's okay to miss all of them, Rox." Another gust of the wind scooped away petals and the last bits of Naminé's voice. I looked up into her pastel blue eyes with her mascara running down her cheeks. She reached a small hand out to graze my cheek, and I smiled back.

Naminé was right. It was okay to miss my second parents, and the lovable red-head, even if he is still alive. It didn't make anyone more important than the other. The rain started to fall in the hypnotic way it always had. The grey clouds covered the sky as we all looked up; even the sky was mourning with us. September had a way with doing things like that.

* * *

So. I'm sorry these short-probably-not-even-worth-posting-chapters take so long to get out, and I don't even know the reason why. I think it's because I have so many already waiting to go that if it really were up to me. I'd post them all at once and that's not cool at all.

And sorry for the sadness of this chapter. Things will cheer up next time promise c: okay maybe not, because Roxas is just oh so sad.

(I'm trying to go for that feeling you get when someone you know goes off to war, and can't talk to you very much and you're just worrying so much about them, okay?)

* * *

My lovelies, as few of you as there are at this moment. I still love you. And I'm try to figure out if this story/plot actually sucks. Or if it has to do with the fact people think it's just smut and not worth commenting on, or if it has to do with WHEN I post it. ya know? So do an author a favor, leave me a review telling me if you like it, or if it sucks. I will love you forever.

xion113: thank you for your encouragement! And aw, sweetie (sorry if that creeps you out or something) I'm sorry! I'll get back to posting these chapters just for you!

Diabolus Kara: ffft! You made me laugh! So love for you! And I hope Axel comes back too! it would be very sad if he didn't! lol I'm the author I know if he is or isn't coming back.


	4. October

Disclaimer: I do not own anything other than the plot  
warning: nothing too bad here at all. Just thought I'd point out I know the difference between Deer and Dear. It was an intentional mistake c: you'll see.

* * *

"Happy birthday Roxas and Ven!" voices shouted from all around me and my now nine year-old mind sputtered around crazily. Poppers exploded around me and I glanced around to see everyone in bright blue and gold metallic birthday hats.

The both of us let out squeals of excitement and somewhere in the back of our throats fear, but way more excited to see the surprise party we were being thrown. It was our first real birthday party, sure every year we had friends over and cake was served, but somehow being nine felt different. "Now, boys what do you say, to all your friends?" my mother chided softly, giving us both a little nudge in the back.

"Oh, sorry mommy." we said together, it made Axel's mom smile just a little whenever we did that, "thank you guys!" he sang happily just as our father popped party hats over our heads with a loud snap.

Our mom slapped him lightly on the arm, but he only grinned back at her saying, "come on, honey, they're big boys now, practically men! A little pain won't kill them." our mother rolled her eyes and went on thanking all the parents— Axel and Kairi's, Namine and Sora's who were our real cousins, and then Riku's mom.

"So let's party!" Axel stumbled out from behind his mom's legs, holding out a giant donkey's tail with a tack attached to it. "Momma says that we're gunna play pin the tail on the donkey before we leave. And then twister." He beamed taking my hand as I grabbed Ven's. We were yanked further into the living room as the sound of the Disney Radio station played from the Speakers in the walls. Before we either had a chance to say anything the both of us were being lightly blind folded by our father and being spun around by who I think was Riku's mom. I remember being dizzy as I giggled, stumbling around to the faint laughter of kairi and Namine as everyone else whispered 'colder' 'warmer' 'no colder' 'still cold' but eventually I found something solid and stuck the thing to it.

"OUCH! ROX THAT HURT!" Ven cried and I quickly ripped off my blindfold to see Van rubbing his bottom right where I stuck him. Everyone erupted into laughter at the site, because he didn't look to hurt.

"Now he looks like a real ass, eh?" my father jokingly said to Axel's father who shook his head and grinned. I didn't understand it; I didn't know why it was funny, but soon enough the adults and thirteen-year-olds were laughing.

"Now it's my turn to stick this in your butt, Rox." And Cloud and Terra and Zack laughed even louder, to which my mom grabbed them all by the ear into the kitchen to have a 'talk.' I didn't know why that was funny either, but I was too concerned with running away from Ven and his tack. I ducked behind Axel, who quickly ran behind me and held me at arms' length.

"Nu-uh Roxas, you deserve to be stuck." Axel laughed and eventually it turned into me trying to outrun Axel and Ven.

"Ooof!" Sora Groaned when he hit the ground and we all three toppled over and onto him. "You're just running everyone over, aren't ya Roxas?" he rubbed his head and we all giggled.

"DOG PILE!" Riku shouted and before I knew it Riku was jumping onto Axel's back followed by Cloud and Terra and Zack. The air was being crushed out of my lungs, but it still felt nice.

"Riku! Riku! Get the heck off me!" Axel cried.

"Axel Lea! We do not use that kind of language." His mother scolded pulling all of the other boys off of him to get to her son.

"Aw, babe, just leave him be, he's just a boy, it's not like he actually said anything bad." His dad waved it off but she popped him in the mouth gently anyway, and then spun him around telling him to play nicely. We had gotten up from the ground and made our way to the sloppily placed twister mat on the floor. His face was red as he grumbled. Axel was always in a soar mood when his mommy popped him in the mouth or sent him to time-out.

"Come on, Axel, it'll be fun! You gotta play with us!" Riku encouraged him spinning the wheel.

"Fine…" he broke standing at the edge of the mat like everybody else, except the older ones. They said it was 'too gay' to play with just a bunch of guys, because Kairi and Namine were too busy playing with their dolls near the bubble machine. I didn't know what 'too gay' meant or what even 'gay meant' but I knew it must have been a bad word, because Aunty was scolding Cloud for saying that to us. Mom used to tell me that the reason we were always getting in trouble was because we were all boys, and boys caused trouble, she always said that with a smile though.

Before long, we were a tangled mess of limbs and screams of, 'there's no more green spots left!' We couldn't contain our laughter at that point, but it didn't matter as we all crumbled to the ground as we tried to maneuver our bodies to the next available red circle.

"Okay, boys I think that is enough games for now," my mom cut in just as we were about to start another round.

"Let's get loaded in the cars, so we can go to Chuck-E-Cheese." Riku's mom giggled when we were all sent into a tizzy at the mere mention of Pizza and gaming heaven. We all shuffled out and into the cars and chanted the name over and over again until we got there. Ven and I were too old for car seats, but mom still helped us unbuckle us from our booster seats. We were short… but I still had those three inches over Axel.

They stamped our hands and after we were all given our cups of tokens— Ven and I got more than everybody else because it was our birthday— we took off, destroying all the games in our wake, running and screaming nonsense with our Tickets flapping in the wind. He didn't stop for a pizza break or even to relish in the fact we were going to have real soda with real caffeine and real teeth rotting goodness. By the time we got home we were full of pixi-stix and pizza and Pepsi and bouncing off the walls.

"Happy birthday to you~" our mom started singing as her and my father brought in two separate round cakes. One with my name on it, and one with Ven's . Everybody pitched into sing and the flickering candles caught my eye. "Now blow out your candles." She whispered, and so we did. When we opened our eyes two knifes were being handed to us.

"My boys are old enough to cut their own cakes." He grinned and panic flashed across our mother's face, but she quickly relaxed. The first cut of cake was made and then mom quickly took the knifes from us and finished the job. By the end of it, a cake war ensued and all of us ended up covered in blue and yellow frosting, and I knew I would be sneezing icing out for weeks to come, but I pushed the thought aside when all of our friends stood in front of us with presents.

"Here you go, Roxas, Ven, Open mine first!" Axel insisted shoving past everyone else who just laughed, because he did the same thing every year on our birthday. We took his gifts and with a helpful stare from out mother, we read our cards first. We each had a separate one. And I glanced down at mine with the sloppy penmanship.

_"Deer Roxas,_

* * *

_I'm sorry I couldn't be there this year for your birthday, babe.  
I miss you like crazy. Have a good one for the both of us.  
And e-mail me some pictures.  
I want to know what you look like now; you always get sexier every year._

_Love, Axel_

I felt the smile tug at my lips as I wiped away the tears that fell from my eyes. I didn't think one simple birthday card— the first letter in three months would actually trigger such a response. I read it over one more time, letting my fingers ghost over his signature.

"Come on, Roxas, cheer up! It's your birthday for goodness sakes!" Sora clapped me on the back with a huge sloppy grin on his face, so I sniffled up the rest of my tears.

"Be more sensitive, Sor. I don't think Axel ever missed his birthday." Riku poked Sora's nose before handing him a drink, "You know you would flip shit if I ever so much as turned up late to yours." Riku ran a hand through his silver hair and pecked Sora on the cheek.

"I know, Riku, but come on Rox. It's your twenty-first birthday, live a little, you can finally drink!" he clanked a glass to the one Ven just sat down in front of me.

"He's had alcohol before, Sora. I think he's just down in the dumps." Ven laughed a little ruffling my hair, "and you can only drink by a few months."

Sora smiled again and I stood from my stool, stuffing the birthday card back into my pants' pocket. "Well now it's legal, and body shots off Axel ONE time don't really count." He stuck his tongue out at me before Riku was swaying behind him, urging him back to the dance floor. With a wave he was gone.

"So, bro, you okay?"

"I wish everyone would stop trying to cheer me up." I downed the drink and hissed at the taste and burn, my face twisted up in disgust, "what the hell was— no, just get me something softer." I rubbed at my throat. Maybe trying to look tough didn't turn out so well for me. My twin laughed and ushered over a waitress dressed in a skimpy Halloween costume, who nodded and quickly returned with a more colorful drink.

"There you go, kid." She winked and turned away with a tip from my brother and the blaring of music.

"If you didn't want cheering up, you should just be cheery then." I glanced over to the dance floor. Namine and Kairi were dancing with each other, their hands in the air clearly displaying the black X's on the back. Only eighteen. Some of the things they did had the guys staring, but I knew better; for them it was harmless dancing. My gaze switched over to Sora who was bopping around Riku who looked like he was trying very hard to keep his hands on just his hips. Demyx was grinding shamelessly against his latest fascination, someone with blue hair. Zack was watching Cloud do the same with a drink in his hand. One day they'll be too old to come 'clubbing' with us.

I looked back up to Ventus, "maybe I'm a naturally gloomy person, and none of you have even realized it yet." I chuckled making my own way over to the dance floor, over the pounding music.

"And maybe you just need a pick-me-up!" he called chasing after me, "come on, dance with me. You look like you need It." he took my glass away from me and handed it to Terra who trailed after us. "It'll be like old times."

"Are you crazy?" I turned to him with an almost laugh. "Aren't we a little too old for that sort of thing. We're not seventeen anymore."

"Sora was right; it's time to live a little." So he dragged me further onto the dance floor in the middle of our friends. Our body mashed together as the alcohol settled into my blood stream and I finally let loose a little bit.

"I bet your birthday parties sure have changed, since you were younger, eh, Rox?" Demyx was close to me now, his muleted hair pressed close to his face with sweat. His shorter companion left his arm around Demyx's thin waist.

"Yeah… we went from pin the tail-on-the-donkey, twister, and chuck-E-cheese, to slap-that-ass, dry humping, and Club XIII!" we all chuckled.

"Well, happy birthday, Roxas!" I thanked Demyx and he wondered off dancing some more with as many people as he could find.

Sora came bounding up to us, dragging Riku and a camera. "Come on we need a picture of this moment!" he shoved us all together and in a bright flash of light the picture was taken. It turned out to be the best picture I'd seen of myself in a long time…

_And e-mail me some pictures. I want to know what you look like now; you always get sexier every year._

* * *

See it cheered up quite nicely I think! :D but it will get sad again i think v.v

Thank you to everyone c:

ewonsama: aw thank you sweetie, that means a lot to me

Diabolus Kara: aha most of this is gunna be sad, or have sad undertones. And Axel does need to come home ): soon… but sadly he still has nine or so more months to go. And thank you for the encouragement c:


	5. November

Disclaimer: only the plot is mine

* * *

I squirmed as I stood against the door frame with a ruler pressed tightly down on my head crushing my blonde spikes. "Come on mom!" I groaned wriggling around more.

My mother cocked her hip and sighed, "Now Roxas, don't slouch, and stop wiggling around or we're going to be here all day." I let out a huff and did as I was told. "And when did you stop calling me mommy? It hurts my feelings."

" 'Mommy' is for babies! I'm ten, mom! And too old to be measured." I saw her other hand go up to the frame to mark my height with a simple golden line. She lifted the ruler from my head and I turned to look at all the little markings. All of our ages were recorded there. From the time we were old enough to stand on our own, all of us. From Axel all the way to Terra, because our families were always that close. I shrieked when I saw the hideous red line only two inches away from mine; Axel was catching up to me, and I would not have it.

"Well, you're still my baby, and if I stop measuring you, you'll stop growing." She laughed when I glared up at her, still not having perfected the art, "and you know something else," she leant down and whispered in my ear, "you shouldn't glare at your mommy or your face is going to get stuck like that, and then no one's going to want to be friends with a big gloomy Gus like you," She poked my nose with another very motherly laugh. "_and_ Axel's going to grow up to be bigger and taller than you."

I scrunched up my face, "You shouldn't tell stories, mom, it'll rot your teeth." She made a small gasp and her quirked up lips behind her hand, trying to hide her smile.

"Now I know you're listening when I tell you things, but don't sass your mother." she looked serious for a moment before another smile stole across her lips and she jerked her head to the living room where the gang was, "now go play with your friends while I finish making the snacks." she ruffled my hair and turned me around shooing me into the next room and I went happily.

Before I could even really get in the living room Axel was screaming bloody murder, "ROXAS YOU'RE GOING TO TURN INTO A LAVA MONSTER IF YOU STAY THERE MUCH LONGER!" instantly I hopped up on the nearest Sofa crying like I had been burnt. The hopping from Sofa to Sofa and to any pillows that had been left on the ground ensued. Sora fell face first into the ground and after a countdown he was deemed the lava monster who tried to tug us down with him. It only lasted a moment longer when my father walked in with Cloud and Zack following behind him, heads cast down and if I try hard enough to recall it, guilty blushes spread across their cheeks.

"Boys," my father cleared his throat, "if you value your lives, you will put your mother's cushions back on the couches and refrain from bouncing around on them." and we froze, exchanging glances between all of us. We didn't get in trouble. And Cloud wasn't grinning like he had a secret and Zack just wasn't looking at us. We all dropped to the seats we were in and my father smiled at us before picking up his keys and escorting Cloud and Zack out the door.

"What do you think just happened?" Ven asked and Sora raised his hand to speak looking very eager. It was a habit he gathered from school after many times being reprimanded for speaking out of turn, but eventually he was well trained… too well trained because it bled over into our home life.

"Sora." Riku grabbed his hand and forced it down with a roll of his eyes. The smile crept across his face as he all motioned for us to get closer.

"Well, I know what happened. Cloud and Zack are in trouble." He said in a hushed whisper and Riku gave him a punch to the arm.

"Yeah, Sor, we knoooow. But do you know why?" Axel urged. And he nodded.

"But there's not enough clearance to dislocate it here." He looked around skeptically, glancing back at our mom busying herself in the kitchen still.

Riku Groaned, "That's not the right— never mind." Sora had a habit of misplacing his words when he couldn't think of the right ones, and Riku was always there to clean up after him or help tug out the right syllables, but I don't think he was up for it that day.

"We need the top secret emergency club house." Sora declared and we all knew this had to be a big secret. In a flash Sora was up and dashing to the kitchen to ask for permission and we all trickled afterwards.

"Aunty, permission to assemble the emergency club house here in the living room." he stood up like a soldier and Ven and I rolled our eyes as we stood behind him. Too many movies and too many assemblies at school about how great the military was had gotten to his brain.

My mom's face lit up before acting surprised and finally giving into Sora's little act, "oh my!" she gasped in surprise, "this must be very important, none of you boys have had something so serious to talk about that it couldn't wait until you all could make it to Axel's tree house."

"Very important, Aunty." Sora stood with his hand pressed to his brow; my mother didn't have the heart to tell him it was the wrong one. We all stood behind Sora giggling at something or the other. My mom glanced over at us all surrounding him.

"And what is so important?" her over exaggerated expressions had me both laughing at the whole situation and wanting to tell her we weren't five anymore and she could speak normally to us.

"Sora has a secret to tell us." Axel chirped in and my mother smiled softly at him, then back at Sora, she crouch down and saluted the brunette back.

"Then permission, granted. On the condition all of you eat all the s'mores I made you." She stood back up with a laugh as we all shouted again. Our secret club house was up in no less than half an hour. It was composed of pillows and blankets and couches and old stuffed animals for walls and ceiling. It had only one flap for a door and we were only allowed inside if we had the password, which was both made up and changed each and every time. with the help of our mom, not that we would ever admit it, the lights in the living room were turned off, the curtains drawn closed so the single keychain flash light illuminated our emergency club house and we each had a gooey s'more in between our fingers and were sitting in a circle we all had formed.

I lapped of a bit of marshmallow fluff from my fingers, "So, Sora… what's so ultra top secret we needed all of this?"

"Well… you might want to stop eating for this." he looked over us all until the s'mores where back on the plate before he continued, "well earlier today… when my mommy dropped me off I went up stares to see if Roxas would come play my new video game with me. It's so awesome by the way!" his momentary 'boy' moment was short lived as he delved back into his gossip. "But he wasn't in his room."

"He was in the back yard with me." Axel stated proudly and it was Sora's turn to roll his eyes.

"So I went into Cloud's room and do you know what I saw?" he all looked at us with big huge blue eyes, expectantly, "do you?" he urged and we all gave in.

"Was it a dragon?"

"Was Cloud cheating on his homework?"

"Was Cloud dying his hair!

"Is he hiding all the sweets in the house! Because I know for—."

"nooooo." He groaned running his hands down his face. His voice grew quiet forcing us to lean in closer, "Cloud and Zack… were… kissing!" he covered his mouth and giggled and we all pulled away with a chorus of 'ewwwwwww!' "No guys! It's not ewwww. It was just surprising. So I went and asked aunty if boys are supposed to kiss. So she asked me what boys I saw kissing so I told her and she dropped her spoon and then turned to me and says, 'sora, sweetie,' his voice was higher trying to imitate my mom and if it was possible he was more feminine, 'anybody can kiss anybody else that wants to kiss them back,' and then she said she had to tell Uncle he needs to have THE TALK with them. The end."

"Why were they kissing?" Ven gasped looking a little grossed out. Sora shrugged.

"Do they know they're both boys? Maybe Zack thought Clous was a girl the whole time." Axel offered but he was quickly ignored.

"If your aunt said it was okay, then how are they in trouble!" Riku asked.

"What's 'The Talk?' It sounds scary." I chirped in more horrified about what that might be than anything.

"Sora sat up straight, and another huge grin was plastered on his face, "I don't know, but I did hear some fifth graders saying that in gym they had to have 'The Talk' and watch 'The Video.' I think it's the same thing." We all looked over at each other again, trying to see what the proper response was.

Riku groaned and flopped down on his back, "you guys are stupid."

Sora's cheeks went red as he puffed them out, "Well then mr. I'm so smart I'm still in special reading classes, tell us how we're so stupid."

The rest of us crossed our arms and tried glaring at Riku, who just looked up at the make-shift ceiling. "Never mind." He flipped his long angel blonde hair out of his face and grinning, "Let's just enjoy the pillow fort, guys."

"It's not a pillow fort," I argued, but that just resulted in Axel hitting me over the head with a nearby pillow, sloppy grin on his face.

* * *

"What? This is so a blanket fort, Axel." I lay splayed across my bed on my stomach admiring the pixilated and slightly delayed Red-head that took up my entire laptop screen. It was the first time he was able to really contact me, and I wasn't going to miss it for the world.

"Oh, come on. It's a pillow fort, just admit it." he let out a deep chuckle that had my heart fluttering in my chest and stomach twisting up into happy knots. Seeing him was enough to have my face ache from how hard I was smiling.

"It's so not. Do you see any pillows here? No, I didn't think so. It's just blankets. So it's a blanket fort." I said with my own laugh, shooing away a few stray hairs from my face. It was starting to look a lot like Sora's because I didn't see the need in cutting it with Axel gone.

"Oh gods, babe, I missed your laugh so much." His voice was softer as he looked dead into my eyes. I felt a blush forming, but I couldn't stop it and didn't dare hide it. I was too entranced with his green eyes. gods, how I missed looking into them.

"I missed yours too." I smiled, "I just miss _you_." I said sadly.

"Hey, cheer up, Rox. I'll be home soon. Just a few more months." He knew that was a lie, and I knew that was a lie, but it did make me feel a little bit better.

"But the bed gets so lonely and the apartment gets really cold at night, and you know I have no clue how to change the thermostat, so I've resorted to cocooning myself up on the bed and not moving from it all day."

He shook his beautiful red spiked hair that looked a little shaggy itself. In fact all of him looked a little shaggy and run down, like he wasn't sleeping enough, or eating enough. "Aw, come on, babe, you're making me feel guilty."

I pouted, "Well you should, and you know… your side of the bed doesn't even smell like you anymore."

He let out another sexy laugh the rumbled in that back of his throat, "that's a lie; you both know that neither of us slept on just one side."

"I know. I just miss you a lot, okay? Sora won't take me to the Café on campus anymore because he says I get all mopey, when I see the red counter in there." Another laugh and a grin. I thought my heart was going to stop.

"Oh really? Tell me more about school." He lent forward holding his chin in his palm.

"Same old same old. My literature professor is still up my ass about all my papers. He doesn't even read them, and he's got the nerve to tell me I'm horrible at it all. Then my— Axel, you hate it when I talk about school." I tried glaring at the computer screen, but his smile wouldn't allow my lips to stay together.

"I might hate it when you talk about school… but I love the sound of your voice." I let out a soft laugh and shook my head. "So keep talking. Tell me about break."

"Sora and Riku decided to have the whole gang over at Riku's mom's house. And that woman can still cook. Your sister, I'm guessing she already told you, announced her new boyfriend, Tidus? I think. Terra and Ven got into a little fight over who got the wishbone. I don't get it. Cloud didn't talk much, but he ate a bunch of sweet potatoes, while Zack chatted up my mother. Namine's going to be Valedictorian at graduation… aunty is so proud of her. Oh, and your mother and Father were both there too."

"Did they murder each other?" Axel's parents were still together, but barely. We all thought they were hanging on until Kairi graduated or something.

"No… they were civilized and then we all stuffed ourselves with Turkey and now I'm so fat and gelatinous. I'm quite hideous, Axel. You might not want to come home."

Axel got serious, "Roxas, babe, you could never be anything but perfect."

I smiled, "you're getting soft on me?" I loved the way he said my name. The way it rolled of his tongue and settled comfortably in my ears.

"Nah, I always tell you you're perfect."

"Well you're perfect too." then we were both quiet, just looking into each other's eyes through the computer screen.

He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck, "babe, it's getting pretty late over here, I think I'm gunna get some sleep." A yawn escaped his perfect lips, "bye, Rox, I love you."

I smiled back at the screen, "bye, Ax, I love you too." he stood up showing off his chest covered in a thin black tank top that was no doubt clinging to him. I bit my lip and watched as he leaned forward again and kissed the screen before it went blank.

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Whoop! Yay for fluffy sweet goodness… now I want a s'more. So now I have to go the store and buy the supplies. Aha, anyway I hope you enjoyed this chapter and everything that went with it. This will be the start of my updating spree again. I'm going to try to keep them all going at the same time for as long as I can c: so expect to see a lot of me the next few days ;)

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Thank you all for your continued support it makes me a proud writer c,: so you know don't forget review fav and alert.

xion113: thank you, my dear :D

Diabolus Kara: just gosh. Thank you for all your compliments. They make me smile. And if my story makes you angsty then I think I'm doing my job right! (:

ewonsama: oh shush you, getting ahead of the person writing. You're going to give away all my secrets you know? Ahah  
and about the way they act… I think they act their age? I mean goodness knows I have no childhood XD but I wanted to capture the innocents of children and not how they are now. You know cursing and constantly on their phones and computers and trying to grow up waaaay to fast. That kind of thing. And Roxas's mom, if you can't tell is a little (a lot) over protective. And I hope that didn't come out as mean or bitchy, because it's not in the slightest.


	6. December

Disclaimer: ii don't own the songs listed, not the characters

Warning: mmm… nothing I guess

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We'd waited all winter for just the hint of snow to fall, so school would be forced to close down and not open back up until winter break was over. That was always our goal. So on the twenty-first of December we knelt by our beds and hoped for a snow day. And the next morning the thick heavy clouds hung in the air, sprinkling us with flurries that melted on our too thick coats and boots, but never sticking to the ground. So school stayed open. I remember all the teachers were forced to draw the curtains closed so we wouldn't be distracted by the snow falling outside during class. The day seemed to drag on forever as we waited and finally. _Finally_ the day came to a close and break began.

We were all crammed inside Axel's and Kairi's Kitchen baking cookies with their mom while their Father was busy putting up the Christmas tree. I always found it strange that they did this, because Axel's dad hated Christmas with a passion. I also found it strange at the time that they didn't top their tree with an Angel like we did, but Axel's dad did always say how he never believed in angels. Terra and Zack and Cloud and both Cloud and Zack's crush named Aerith I think stood to help decorate. She was the only reason either of them were in the same room to begin with.

It had been a little over a year since the _incident_, Zack was in the spare room and Terra bunked with Cloud now, and the two of them hardily spoke a word to each other. They both blamed Sora for how awkward it was, but believe me, unless you lived in the same house with them for that whole year… you'd never know how _truly_ awkward it was.

Cloud refused to shower with Zack in the house and Zack always had the spare room door locked. They ate dinner with the family and spoke a few words to each other, mostly using Terra as a means to escape directly talking to one another. Dad chalked it up to them being emotional high school freshman, mom said they were just shy, and Ven and I couldn't make heads or tails of it all at the time, but by then we had it figured out. We being the fifth graders we were we had "The Talk" that consisted of many horrifying images and facts about reproduction and vaginas and penises and kissing and hormones and love no one in the class really understood. Riku rolled his eyes the whole time, talking about how he already knew all that stuff. And Sora being Sora just had to know how two boys 'reproduced.' Then it all sort of fell into place, even if it was just for a moment. The teacher became violently angry at this and said boys couldn't 'reproduce' and shouldn't be allowed to. So Ven repeated what our mother told us about this and the teacher told us our mother was wrong. I didn't understand why at the time, but he was fired after mom went and spent many hours in our school with a lawyer.

And after all this the only thing it accomplished was mom constantly telling Zack and Cloud it was fine for them to be 'together,' but after a year of not speaking… they were 'normal' again. They had crushes on girls and had spent that whole semester chasing after Aerith. Their laughter could be heard from in the living room as Axel chased Kairi around with cracked egg shells in the kitchen forcing us all to laugh at them. Naminé sat quietly on a stool eating the batter from the bowl when Axel's mom wasn't looking and trying to draw a Santa. Ven was sneaking in and out of the kitchen to peak at Terra and Riku was busy reading. His long blonde hair had been allowed to grow way down his back past his waist in thick white-blonde locks over the year that all the girls were jealous of. Sora always took up the habit of playing with it saying that if he changed it in any way he would never speak to him again.

"Roxas watch out! Axel's going to give you salmon from that egg!" Kairi Screeched as she hid behind me. My first instinct was to duck behind her and we both kept shoving each other in front of one another, giggling like that.

"Oh, come on, Kairi! Roxas knows I would never do anything to hurt him." his eyes held a glint in them that told a completely different story and for a twelve year old it was pretty scary. And he just kept getting closer and closer with that egg, his fingers gleaming with the whites that seeped from it.

I gulped, but thankfully Axel's mom tucking her equally as crazy red hair behind her ear, scolding her son, "Axel Lea. How many times have your father and I told you not to harass your little sister?" Axel stopped dead in his tracks and instantly dropped the egg shell in the trash bin next to him.

"More than I can count." He muttered and Kairi stuck her tongue out at this. He lunged towards her, but stopped when their mother sent him a look with one arched eyebrow. She turned that look on Kairi and with shameful eyes they both mumbled their apologies.

"So, uhm, when is my mom coming back?" I looked up, finding it awkward.

Their mother instantly returned to her chipper self we all knew her as, "they'll be back shortly, probably playing Santa's helpers." She winked at me as her two children scampered out of the kitchen and into the living room, most likely to bother their father. She knew I knew Santa wasn't real… but Naminé and Sora were still in the room, delirious with happiness about the big man in red. And my own parents forbid me to tell her _OR _Sora that he was a myth. What kind of fifth grader was he to still believe in something so childish?

"Roxas! Roxas!" that was Axel's easily excitable voice, "There's snow out here! On the ground! And Kairi can hardly move it's so deep!"

And that's all it took.

Everyone of us, even Zack and Cloud and Terra and Aerith were tugging on snow boots and gloves and coats and scarves and hats and rushing out of the house, paying no mind to the set of adults cramming their way into the house with shopping bags. The noise we made once we were outside was almost in human. We were so excited that we tripped over our own feet in a frenzy to get to the perfect snow. And oh yes, it was perfect, fluffy, but slightly compacted. The perfect kind that made perfect— I spun around glaring daggers at the person who dared to throw that snowball at the side of my head. Riku. He grinned sheepishly before Sora returned the favor of smashing snow in his face.

A war cry was let out from somewhere and then it was every man for himself. It was white and cold and we were all laughing so hard that we could hardly breathe, and once we had exhausted ourselves we collapsed to the ground, the sun setting in muted winter pallets. Axel laid next to me our gloved hands not daring to touch as we slowly made snow angels. I'm sure that somewhere in the far side of the lawn the older kids where making a snow man because on our trek back into the house with frozen fingers flushed cheeks and running noses, Frosty was waving to us with his tree branch hands.

The adults had hot-chocolate with mini marsh-mellows half melted and cookies in the living room set up for us all. The tree was aglow in the corner with blue and silver and white ornaments that Axel's mom didn't let us touch because they are _still _older than even them. But first we had to gather around the two sinks in the kitchen and dip our hands in the Luke-warm water to defrost, and so we shimmied out of our sopping wet winter clothes, smiles never leaving our faces and stood around the sinks. Meaningless chatter filled the air and maybe even some splashing.

"ooooh, nuh, uh uh!" I peered over my shoulder, hands still in the sink, and watched as Sora's mom had a huge grin plastered over her face arms crossed over her hideously Christmas themed sweater that matched mom's and Axel's mom and Riku's mom. "mistletoe." She them pointed up to the archway separating the Kitchen from the living room. We, being the fifth and second graders we were all started sniggering at the mortified faces of Zack and Cloud and a blushing Aerith standing behind them. Her eyebrow arched and I could see from my place on the step-stool Axel and I shared—Axel laid claim to it because that height gap grew again and I was proud to be four inches taller than him— that my mom was smiling around a mug and all our dads were more concerned with the "A Christmas Story" playing on the TV.

They looked at each other, glaring almost, but knowing there was no way in hell that the audience that had formed was going to even let them think about not kissing under the mistletoe. So they lent forward, faces bright red with either anger or embarrassment, Aerith giggling behind her hand uncontrollably, and lips puckered into fish faces. The gasps of "ew," and "aww," murmured throughout the room.

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"Guys! Come on! Stop sucking faces long enough to bring out our coffee!" Sora sprang to life from his seat on Axel and I's Sofa, reprimanding Zack and Cloud, who thought it would be a spectacular idea to make use of the fake mistletoe that was left hanging year round— Axel used it as reason to kiss me there whenever we fought— and kiss, still holding the tray with everyone's coffee, well I already had mine. Riku ran a hand through his shoulder length silver hair and slung an arm back around Sora to settle him down as the coffee was passed out.

This year, with them somehow knowing I would be just an utter disaster if I spent the holiday alone, everybody was crammed into our apartment in the living room, around our Fake Christmas tree that was decorated with those same ornaments compliments to Axel's mother. Her Red hair had faded into a dark crimson, and just like all of our mothers had aged perfectly and you couldn't guess their aged right if you had tried. Axel's father on the other hand, still put on a few pounds, but his staggering height made up for that, if I was smart as a child I would have known that Axel would end up the height he was. It was almost painful to have them sitting, curled up together on the floor smiling. It wasn't fair that they could look like him. His mother's hair or fathers green eyes and jaw line, his mother's widow's peak, his father's nose, and both their height and bone structure that screamed AXEL! I was half tempted to curl up in between them, just to feel closer to him.

Everyone else wasn't helping either. Everyone was sitting back arms slung around their respective partners and sipping on coffee in their lazy-day clothes on this lovely Christmas morning. And that left me playing Santa and handing out all the gifts. I had to admit, I liked wearing the Santa hat, and if Axel were here we would have definitely been spending Christmas… differently.

"Okay, guys! Seriously! Stop acting all cutesy! It's killing my spirit!" I said with a half-hearted laugh. It wasn't fair, but I had to deal with it. No one uncurled themselves from one another, but thankfully the doe eyes ceased and the hand holding turned into mug holding. My own spiked mug sat next to me; a _little_ alcohol in the morning was going to be the only way I was going to make it through the day. I was pathetic, but could you really blame me? It tasted terrible, _Irish coffee_, but it was doing its job.

So I set out to reading off the tags in the room, Kairi, Riku, Terra, Mom, Riku's mom, Axel's dad, Tidus, Zack, me, Sora, Ven, Kairi again, Cloud, and so on until we were a pile of cards and jewelry and sports jerseys and new electronics, and sweaters, and money and sweets, and there was still one present under the tree that I had missed. I pulled it out and to my surprise found out it was addressed to me. So I sat it on my lap, not understanding the look that everyone was sending my way as I pealed back the wrapping and opened the shipping box?

My heart literally almost stopped and a smile spread across my face I swore it was going to crack my face right in half. My body started trembling slightly as I grasped at the white cotton sheets in the box. They smelt of Irish spring soap, leather, and most importantly _Axel_. I closed my eyes and just bathed in the sent that wafted from the box, not caring that I probably looked half crazy doing this. That wasn't the only thing in the box though; a new sleek black iPod sat in it's clearly tampered with case in the middle of the sheets on top of an envelope. I reached out and picked it up, tears in my eyes and a smile on my face, and flicked it on. A half battery and a single play list blared up at me.

For my Roxas

Picturesque— Chase Coy

Baby blue eyes— A Rocket to the moon

The thing about us—Steve Moakler

She takes me high— We the Kings

When the Stars are out— The Perfect measure

If it means a Lot to you– A day to remember

Roxas— Axel

So I didn't even take any consideration for anyone else in the room, and I played them in order. Listening to the short playlist and absorbing each and every word as if Axel himself were singing them. I cracked a smile again at that; Axel couldn't sing to save his life. I listened taking sips of my coffee and letting myself believe that he was there in the room with me as I shakingly opened the envelope. I shuffled through photo after photo of Axel. His glorious smile and twinkling green eyes. Some of them were old… as in Axel and I as children, and some of them looking as new as now. It always amazed me how much he ages when he leaves me. His face had lost any ounce of fat, and his cheeks were a bit hollow, he had bags under his eyes and he clearly hadn't shaved the morning he took these. His hair was longer, probably down past his shoulders, and despite looking like he wasn't eating like he should be, his muscles were more defined. He was a mess, but he was still perfect. Always perfect.

I couldn't let out the gasp as the last 'song' played. It wasn't a song at all. It was a recording. His voice was rough and sleepy and caring, and exhausted. Physically exhausted to just be speaking, but oh so very lovely to hear.

_"Roxas, babe, merry Christmas. Ahaha, well I don't really know what to say, but damn, I miss you so fucking much; It's crazy. Okay, so this might be a little creepy, but I sent you new sheets… well old to me, so the bed will smell like me again. I swear I didn't like jack off on them of something, so they're safe. And a new iPod for you to do with whatever you want. I know how much you love your weird high school girl music. So I found some. I had Kai put these songs on there for me… and this recording, so be sure to thank her. Oh, and I sent you pictures. Uhm… well I guess I don't have much to say, other than I love you, Roxas. Have a wonderful Christmas and New years, and I'm so fucking sorry I wasn't there to spend it with you. If I could come back even just for a day just to see you I would do it. Only a few more months 'till I do get to see you, though. And hold you in my arms and kiss you. I love you. Bye, babe."_

And it was silent when I looked up at everybody. They could tell_ I_ was the mess now. I sniffled and stood placing it all back in the box before letting out a half smile and looking up at all my family and friends' faces, croaking out a, "Merry Christmas guys."

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meep. So this is up, and I feel like I'm making Roxas an emotional wreck.

So yeah… guys; thanks for the reviews and favs and alerts and continued support c:

Oh and Salmon was meant to be salmonella, and Axel is older than Roxas. yup.

and uhm... school has started up again for me (fml too many AP classes why!) so yeah... moving slower now.

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DarlingDaughterJam: aah! Well thank you so so so very much to both you and your girlfriend. And much love for you!

ewonsama: aww, you're welcome! And thank you for the review

Diabolus Kara: well I hope this update makes you happy again! :D and yes, it was totally a blanket fort!


	7. January

Warning: lol this is probably really happy

Disclaimer: I don't won them ): oh and I've never had braces, only friends who complained about them… so yeah.

Oh and guys! everything else I'm working on (the next chapters of them) are half done! Yay! But I haven't had internet for a while, and I wanted to wait until they were all done to post again, but I have internet right now and it would really suck for it to go out while I'm typing this up… but hey! So after it leaves… I will too again. so that means all of you! Should read (my other fics too would be nice) and leave a nice little review for me when I come back! Now enjoy~~

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I didn't know why I had to lose all my baby teeth before I was officially a teen, but it happened. The tooth fairy gave me my last dollar and sent me on my way with brand new set of pearly white _crooked_ teeth. I hated them. With a passion. I didn't want to smile at anyone or anything ever, for fear they would see my rollercoaster set of teeth. Okay, that's stretching the truth… maybe. There were a few gaps and a few over lapping and they were just a bit off set. No one even really noticed how my top teeth didn't line up with the bottom perfectly, or that there wasn't enough room in my mouth to fit all the new teeth I would begin to grow, until I pointed it out to them. It was a big deal to me though, because Axel's were perfect. Sora's were perfect. Riku's were almost perfect, just a little chip on one from a soccer game. Cloud and Ven's were beyond perfect, neither of them even so much as had a cavity ever in their life.

But NO, I had to be the one who needed railroad tracks in my mouth… _Braces_.

The dentist had been mentioning it every time we went to have our teeth cleaned, but I never actually imagined I'd need to see an orthodontist and have braces. I should have asked for perfect teeth for Christmas, instead of the cell phone I didn't get anyway. So January came heavy and cold and break lasted just a little longer because of the snow, and I was terrified. That was the day I was doomed… well felt like it.

So right after school, after shoving through a bunch of older acne faced kids who didn't know what to do with themselves on the first day back, I ran all the way to Axel's house. It took longer because of the snow on the ground, and I didn't pay attention to my twin calling after me that mom would be pissed. Yes, he actually said pissed, because on our bus and in school, we were learning a whole new array of words that we scarcely ever heard come out of anybody's mouth except Axel's dad, and Van and Axel took to using them… I did too, but only in my head, and only in reference to my pre-algebra teacher. Kari hadn't come home yet, still learning her multiplication tables in school, and neither were their parents. I banged on the front door, out of breath and waited for him to open it.

"Roxas? Why the hell are you here?" he hesitated on the word hell, like he was afraid to get caught saying it.

"When mom comes home, I'm getting my…" I stopped, nervously. Axel was my best-friend, for as long as I can remember, but I didn't tell him I needed braces. I don't even thing my brothers knew, and I don't even remember the real reason behind not telling him I was being forced to get them, but then I blurted it out in one big rush, "BRACES PUT ON AND I'M SCARED!"

He laughed. He just laughed. My face burned red. He tossed his head full of short crimson hair back; arms crossed and laughed that in-between laughter, where you knew he was definitely a boy now, and not a girl. But it didn't get all deep and high like some of the other boys in my classes did. I huffed, as I pushed my way past him. shortie. "You're so retarded, Roxas." another thing he said a lot.

"Just hide me, until my mom forgets I exist."

He shut the door and followed behind me. "You should have gone over to Riku's. They'd never look for you there." That was probably true. Riku and I got along, but we didn't talk too much… actually, Riku didn't talk to anyone much now a days; not even Sora. He'll deny this until the day he dies, but the rest of us were perfectly aware of this. He was the tallest out of us. Tall and skinny, kind of curvy… like a girl. And his long waist length hair and lack of anything that would give him away to being male didn't help either, he still had his little kid voice. He wore a lot of black, a lot of hoodies, and a lot of rubber bands. And his name… well. It was kind of girly too, so most people thought he was. He refused to cut his hair though, maybe because of Sora, maybe not. He was 'that Goth _girl._' So if I hid out there with him, my mom would have probably skipped the local police and gone straight to the FBI to report a missing person. Axel's was the safest choice… and the dumbest. "I know…" I muttered as I plopped my bag down and sank into the couch cushions. "But I just don't want to go."

He mirrored me, flicking on the TV and flipping through the small number of un-staticy channels. "They're just braces, Roxas. Saix has them." Saix was the guy Axel met that year; he was kind of bossy, and in the eighth grade, but Axel said I was too sometimes. I flushed again, slightly irritated.

"I'm not Saix… he's… got crazy blue hair. Who even has hair like that!" I dragged my hands down my face. Truth was, if I was allowed I probably would have died my hair electric blue too.

"Is this about your hair or your teeth, because I'm so confused right now." he laughed as he looked at me, causing me to un bristle, just a tad.

I laughed with him, "not my teeth. My future braces." He just blinked.

"You know," he started, but the banging on his front door cut him off. I gulped. I knew it was going to be my mom. And I knew she was indeed, going to be pissed off. And then she was going to haul me out of here and to the dreaded place where they would put those metal and wire things on my teeth. He paused at the door, already knowing who it was too, "Saix says they only suck a little. And I think they look cool." He shrugged, and then grinned something wicked, "have fun." With a flip of his wrist the door flung open and in poured my mother, a nervous wreck, then relieved, then pissed as all hell and then dragging me out and into her car. All the while Axel grinned.

They hurt like hell, and my mouth screamed in pain when it was all said and done. My mom wouldn't stop talking about how important it was I take care of them, because they were so expensive. I spoke with a really bad lisp, and bit something or the other the wrong way every time I ate. I tried to not open my mouth long enough for anyone to tell I had them. There was a whole list of things I wasn't allowed to even think about eating until they were off… in two years. But at least Axel thought I was cool….

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I grumbled. This was another thing I didn't like. My mouth in pain because I was always bighting the inside of it somewhere or the other in nervousness. My iPod was playing in my back pocket, blaring its music as loud as it could, but not quite loud enough, because it was competing with the other employee mopping the café floors with me. Demyx's headphones were bright green, and suffocated his ears with note after note of what sounded like music on a bad trip. His hips swayed and jerked with the beat I was trying to drown out with my own. It was our night to close up and clean the place up from coffee spills and pastries, and college kid's brains that had oozed there. Those were tough stains, and I think mine were left in the corner from a month ago when I crammed everything in between shots of espressos and ignoring Sora's incessant flirting with Riku over the counter. It was really bad. Sickly sweet and I knew Sora wouldn't show for classes in the morning… and he didn't.

But right now it was just Demyx and I cleaning up before we'd have to turn the lights out and leave. "HEY, ROXAS!" Demyx nearly screamed over his music. It hurt my ears as I jumped to look at him.

"HEADPHONES, DEM!" I shouted back, and for a moment he looked completely confused. Then he nodded and settled them around his neck and turned off whatever they were attached to inside his pocket.

"Okay, dude, what's got you down? I've been trying to ignore it, or chalk it up to the gross smell of cleaning water… but It's been like half an hour, and you're still cleaning the same spot." He pointed a finger wrapped in a heavy ring to the floor.

I blinked. I had. I was standing in the same spot I had started, right next to the bucket of murky water, and probably looking a little dazed. It was strange, because I could have sworn that the job was nearly done and that I was paying attention to every little detail happening. "Oh, sorry, Demyx… just thinking I guess." I smiled with a yawn.

"Dude, we've been buds, since high school, I think I know when you're down. Just tell me what's wrong." Demyx was born in the wrong time, I'm sure of it; no one is… this relaxed… or dressed like he normally does. Maybe he's on drugs, I wouldn't put it passed him, but the new guy he's been seeing doesn't seem the type to put up with that.

"I don't know, Dem. Axel I guess." I shrugged, finally moving to a new spot, but the floor was completely clean now.

He let out a long heavy sigh, leaning his cheek on the end of the broom stick. "You think about him too much. Talk about him too much actually. I think you should just get a cat and stop counting the days… you're making it worse." Demyx was honest, which meant blunt. He always said what was on his mind and sometimes just the thoughts as he thought them. The part about the cat probably was one of them. I considered getting a cat briefly. Axel wouldn't like that. Axel hates cats. Axel hates all animals really… maybe not snakes… or snakes and rats. Strange combination to like. Axel hates kids too, to think of it. Axel. Axel Axel Axel.

Demyx was right, I did think about the red-head too much, "you're so right! But I can't help it! it's just…"

"there ya' go again. Just don't think about him anymore. Go out and do something… a club, maybe a bar. Zexy and I'll go with you! Just give me a sec, I'll call him. Wait. No. he's sleeping. Don't you have class in the morning anyway? Zexy doesn't… I think. We have places to be tomorrow anyway." all this came out in one big rush, and I couldn't help but laugh at him. Really laugh. As in doubled over with laughter and tears forming in the corners of my eyes and almost wheezing. I have no idea why that was so funny; maybe it was ironic in a way. Demyx's confusion just added to it. When I was done, I stood and whipped my eyes and let a few more giggles past my lips.

"Demyx did you drug my cousin or something? The last time he laughed was like a week ago after we pumped him full of champagne and beer on new year's." Sora's voice echoed off the empty walls as he stood in the doorway, wrapped in a heavy winter coat and shaking a little bit from the cold.

Demyx wrapped an arm around my shoulders lightly and squeezed in a friendly manner, "nah, Roxas's just learning to live a little more now. He's also getting a cat." He laughed and took my mop from me and started putting things away.

"Not getting a cat, but… we all have to go out soon again. Like for my birthday, okay, Sora?" he grinned and nodded, handing me my coat and scarf. I slipped them on and jingled the keys left on the red counter top. Demyx nodded back at me; he'd be cool with locking up like he always did. Sora wrapped himself around my arm as the front door swished around us and welcomed us to the cold harsh night. "Hey, Sora… why are you here again?"

"To walk you home, silly, like I always do."

"You have to drive here."

"Your point?" he stuck out his tongue to catch baby soft snow flakes that just started to fall again. I couldn't help but smile with all my teeth showing.

Sora grinned as he lead me to what I hoped was his car somewhere far off in the distance, "Hey, Rox, do you remember that time you had braces and—"

"Fuck you, Sora. I hated them." And we were both laughing.

* * *

C: no words to put here since they are all at the top! :D

* * *

Reviewers:

KingdomHearts-Love: yup! First part is always them as kids. Second is Roxas now?

xion113: you should be excited now! I hope lol

Formidable Rain: oh good gosh, I think I'm in love. XDD I love long reviews. meep don't hurt me!  
but i don't want to give anything away!  
I think I like jumping around. It's kind of fun actually. A lot of fun. Ahah. ROXAS IS JUST AN EMOTIONAL WRACK BECAUSE HIS OTHER HALF IS GONE! Ahem… he's just… sensitive. All of them will fall together, because I like happy endings too, And I hope you didn't forget about me!

luckycat222: FAN-SQUEAL FOR ME BABY! … or just enjoy, you know… c:

THANK YOU ALL FOR READING AND REVIEWING AND FAVING AND ALERTING! I LOVE YOU ALLL!

Bye for now! and don't forget to do all those things again, my lovelies.


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